In the world of parenting, I’m a bit believer in the existence of saboteurs. I’m sure you know what I mean – they are the people who offer you ‘just one biscuit, it wont make any difference’ when they know you are on a diet.
Maybe the word saboteur is a bit strong, but I think there are many people that try and push their thoughts and actions onto you because it makes them feel better about what they are doing. The most obvious and common one I have experienced is controlled crying/cry it out. I am not judging other people who do it, and I am sure there is a role for it – let me tell you, I’ve been tempted too. It’s just not something that sits right with me. My daughter is the type who would cry for 3 hours straight and be vomiting and never trust me again. She is a sensitive girl who had a hard time adjusting to this world and its taken 7 months of dedicated parenting to make her the happy trusting girl she is today. So when people tell me I should leave her to grizzle and cry, and it worked for them, knowing damn well the type of girl she is, it seems they are trying to recruit others to do the same as them to justify their behaviour.
The other big one is bottle feeding. I want to breast feed. I’m lucky enough that I CAN breast feed. I have nothing against bottle feeding but when people always try and push me to bottle feed when I have the slightest bit of trouble with breast feeding (growth spurt – inadequate supply for a few days so I topped her up with formula – pushed by someone who bottle feeds to go completely to formula and wean!). Did this person want me to formula feed because she wouldn’t then be in the minority in our group? She has commented a couple of times that she feels bad she never really tried after she had attachment issues day one, so I suspect it would lessen her guilt if formula feeding was the norm around her.
I’m sorry if I come off sounding judgemental against those who formula feed or do cry-it-out. They just aren’t what I personally believe in and don’t like being pushed to do something that goes against my instincts.
Has anyone else experienced anything similar? I’d love to hear.
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