Saboteurs

In the world of parenting, I’m a bit believer in the existence of saboteurs. I’m sure you know what I mean – they are the people who offer you ‘just one biscuit, it wont make any difference’ when they know you are on a diet.

Maybe the word saboteur is a bit strong, but I think there are many people that try and push their thoughts and actions onto you because it makes them feel better about what they are doing. The most obvious and common one I have experienced is controlled crying/cry it out. I am not judging other people who do it, and I am sure there is a role for it – let me tell you, I’ve been tempted too. It’s just not something that sits right with me. My daughter is the type who would cry for 3 hours straight and be vomiting and never trust me again. She is a sensitive girl who had a hard time adjusting to this world and its taken 7 months of dedicated parenting to make her the happy trusting girl she is today. So when people tell me I should leave her to grizzle and cry, and it worked for them, knowing damn well the type of girl she is, it seems they are trying to recruit others to do the same as them to justify their behaviour.

The other big one is bottle feeding. I want to breast feed. I’m lucky enough that I CAN breast feed. I have nothing against bottle feeding but when people always try and push me to bottle feed when I have the slightest bit of trouble with breast feeding (growth spurt – inadequate supply for a few days so I topped her up with formula – pushed by someone who bottle feeds to go completely to formula and wean!).  Did this person want me to formula feed because she wouldn’t then be in the minority in our group? She has commented a couple of times that she feels bad she never really tried after she had attachment issues day one, so I suspect it would lessen her guilt if formula feeding was the norm around her.

I’m sorry if I come off sounding judgemental against those who formula feed or do cry-it-out. They just aren’t what I personally believe in and don’t like being pushed to do something that goes against my instincts.

Has anyone else experienced anything similar? I’d love to hear.

Exhaustion and Pantleys

My darling daughter is nearly 7 months old and apart from when she was a newborn, has never slept longer than 3 hours in a row. When she was around 3.5 months old she started waking every 45-90 minutes overnight. Prior to that she was waking for a feed around 10pm, 1am and 4am, which I could cope with.

When she started the very frequent waking, she usually ended up in our bed so we could all survive. She started coming into our bed earlier and earlier until she pretty much came into our bed at around 10pm when we crashed for the night.

The other problem we had was the dummy.  My gorgeous girl is totally addicted to the dummy. About 1 month ago she started waking every hour and half, even in bed with us, for the dummy. She was waking every 45 minutes in the evenings when she was in her cot, and she never slept longer than 45 minutes during the day unless she was in the moving pram and her dummy stayed in.

I love cosleeping and the cuddles, so I thought I’d tackle the dummy issue first. I am completely against controlled crying of any form for so many reasons. When I stumbled across the Pantley Pull off method I thought I’d give it a try. (For those who dont know, you pull out the dummy as they are drifting off to sleep, to remove the sucking/sleep association. When they root around for the dummy, you give it back, to avoid crying, then repeat repeat repeat).

Here is my log – I did it for all her day sleeps too, which is 45 minutes x 4 most days.

Night 1,2 &3 – Completely hated me removing the dummy, taking up to 10 or more goes each time but eventually drifting off. I had to walk up and down the hallway bouncing and shhh-ing. Waking up to 10 times overnight. I was a zombie.

Night 4,5,6 – Now taking around 5 -6 goes and occasionally pulling off and rolling over to sleep when breast feeding in bed overnight. Around 5-7 wakes overnight

Day 6 – One random 1 hour sleep during the day – obviously ticked over into another sleep cycle.

Day 7,8,9 – Easier to remove the dummy, but still waking every 45 minutes in the evening (getting easier to resettle then too – can just pat/shh in bed and slowly withdraw that when asleep), wondering if its worth the effort, not much is happening.

Day 10 – Slept for 45 minutes, then 1 hour 5 minutes, then 2 hours!! Then into our bed as we went to bed, as per usual.

Day 11 – 1 hour 5, 1.5 hours, 1.5 hours, then into our bed as per usual.

Day 12 – every 45 minutes, but has been very grizzly all day with teething.

Day 13 – 1.5 hours, 2 hours 40 minutes!! During the day – was awake for 4 hours when out and about, slept for 1 hour 15 minutes when got home.

Day 14 – Out for dinner, took Bella with us, woke after 45, 45 and 60 minutes, but when home slept for 2 hours.

Day 15 – 45 minutes, 1.5 hours, 1 hour 45 minutes.

There are days when she is desperate for the dummy still and it feels like we are back to square one, but slowly slowly she is increasing the amount of time she can sleep without the dummy.

Fingers crossed.